Secret Admiration

Loving in silence

my admiration for you
is a hidden treasure 
I hope you will one day discover

---

I wish I didn't have to admire in silence
knowing it is an illusion
a version of you that exists
only in my imagination
not the real you

and yet I nestle into this story
the way I wish 
I could nestle into your chest
because unlike open admiration 
secrecy demands nothing of me

I do not need to risk my heart being shattered
to muster courage or vulnerability
to expose my tender and unloved parts

but I am chained by desire for 
in my safety I will never know
how it feels to have those 
soft
pink lips
begging 
for my touch

to have your infectious laughter 
in my ear
easing my worries
to talk all night long
of thoughts and desires
to listen to the rhythm of your heart
as you rest your chin on my head

like a star dropped into a shadow 
I drop into thoughts of you
hoping I'll one day live this fairy tale

---

I peak behind the stage curtain
gazing in quiet admiration 
as you pirouette lightly
on my heart strings
holding the loudness of my silence
leap after leap

---

you are the spider’s web 
my tired eyes do not see at dawn
      invisible
           messy
              surprising
                 intricate
                    ever beautiful
and you have me stuck

for I have grown to love 
the agony of missing you
what a joy it is 
to have memories to hold on to

oh how grateful I am
that my secret admiration
was not a treasure well hidden

that you found me
and held me with the ferocity
of one whose love is forbidden

confessing was hard
though secret love is harder
and now I know
not nearly as fun

---

looking over my shoulder 
knowing that you've noticed me
these feelings got me feeling really free
like a million grains of salt
each carrying thoughts of us
from seasons past

---

infatuation was your paramour
you admired me secretly
from the bushes
and resented me publicly
a mask on top of a mask
never telling me how
what I did meant so much to you
          and so I stopped
the thoughts of missing you missing me
the stable of our hearts
forever closed

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This was a collaborative poem! Here are the wonderful writers that contributed:

Rolando Andrade, Blue Evergarden, Alex Jenkin, Amrita Skye Blaine, Emma Montgomery, Vision2Verse, Bob Johnson, Diary of the Unpoet, HEW(Hue) of Poetry, Echoes From The Fire, Gabrielle Tedesco, Lee Summers, Dr.Henna - Soul Mentor, Speaking of..., The Speechless Poet, Amrita Skye Blaine

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Please note:

sometimes when creating a collaborative poem, it ends up that even smaller fragments lead to a unified whole or that words and phrases call for further shaping and moulding. This is no reflection on the contributor. Instead, it’s a beautiful reminder that the creative process is always filled with twists and turns.

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If you would like to be a part of the weekly collaborative poems I would love for you to join my subscriber chat where we can write together every Friday!