Words

Or lack thereof

sometimes the words don't come
    sometimes the outlet becomes the suppressor
           sometimes I'm left with nothing 
but
painfully dry eyes
and a weak sense of anger

sometimes my feelings arrive too late
                  or not at all

and my last chance at connection 
has 
      walked 
                  out 
                        the 
                              gate
                                   and is waving 
                     goodbye

sometimes 
              I lie down 
                              with restless legs
a symptom of an unhappy mind
because words don't come

won't come

sometimes it's just me


                         teetering on the edge of my thoughts
                   scared to fall
             but curious about the impact
      and craving the pain
of a wordless landing

sometimes words don't come
sometimes I'm frustrated 
unable to share my experience

a feeling conveyed 
is a feeling shared and doubly felt
which makes it less lonely

I'm lonely

          searching for my words

                   are they in the keys of a piano
                   the strum of a guitar
                   the hum of another's voice?

I am full and empty
and maybe in some ways
                   free

for without words
I can't be defined

I           a   m            d   e   t   a   c   h   e   d

I want to be defined

I am frustrated
so so frustrated

aren't words supposed to swoop in and save me?

unreliable
unresponsive

sometimes the words 
just
won't
come

---

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